Heartbreak

“Share each other’s troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2, NLT)

One of my best friends lost her baby yesterday. She was 10.5 weeks. My heart feels like it is literally breaking for her. I know that pain all too well and have sobbed right along with her. I can really feel her pain because I have been there and know how absolutely terrible it feels.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV)

This was the Bible verse from my devotional yesterday morning. Little did I know how pertinent it would be for the day. My Girlfriends in God devotional went on to say,

“Compassion is not just sympathy. It is empathy….the more pain we experience, the more compassionate we will be. We must learn to use our pain in the right way, not lashing out, but looking within to share the pain of others. There is a choice in every pain, an opportunity in every trial. Pain makes us focus inward or outward. It makes us martyrs or merciful. The choice is ours.”

I love that whole paragraph. Because of what I have gone through in losing our babies I am able to truly share her pain with her. It hurts me to watch her going through this more than I can put into words, but God is allowing me to share with her the comfort that I have received from Him! He is giving my pain a purpose and using it to comfort a friend in return. Only God could orchestrate such a thing.

Please be in prayer for my sweet friend.

The Past Few Months in Pictures…

I went to Atlanta to visit my sweet friend Courtney and her adorable baby Harper Kate.

Went to the original Chick-Fil-A which apparently is called the Dwarf House…still have no idea why.

Went to Camp APAC for a week but have no pictures yet to show for it.

Barry learned to crochet. (In his defense, this was not his choice).

I flew a helicopter. Very intently too I might add.

Then Emily and I went on an exciting plane trip together…you’d think I would have at least cropped our feet out…

Posed in front of a real army helicopter while I “showed hope”.

Went to the beach with our Nashville friends and buried their son.

Saw an awesome sunset on our anniversary beach trip.

I apparently wore my Show Hope shirt too much.

Stayed at the most amazing hotel in the world in Orlando for a grand total of $69 for 3 nights. Awesome. Deal.

Also figured out how to take the time stamp off the camera.

Ate a giganticly yummy pizza.

Went to Magic Kingdom and got arrested. Or whatever is happening here.

Rode some roller coasters.

Made some weird faces.

Got wet.

Jammed with Jars of Clay, Toby Mac, Mercy Me, Newsboys, Jeremy Camp, Skillet and many others at Night of Joy!

Used the word ‘jammed’ for the first time ever.

The End.

“Held” by Natalie Grant

I have heard this song a lot lately and I think I tear up every time. I am constantly in awe at the feeling of being held by our Savior. He never promised us life would be easy here on earth but He did promise us that He will never leave us through it all.

“Held” by Natalie Grant

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling

Who told us we’d be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We’re asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it’s unfair

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

Check it out on YouTube here.

Living Life

We were in Orlando this past weekend for our now annual “Night of Joy” trip (I’ll post pictures later…maybe…I historically haven’t been very good about posting pics) and I was reminded of the following quote.

“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” - Brennan Manning

As we were standing there listening to Jars of Clay, a lady in front of us was chewing out a Disney employee because he wouldn’t let her go past a certain point (crowd control). She was using hand motions, yelling and using very mean angry words...the whole 9 yards. I was just so frustrated as I stood there watching the event unfold.

Now, I know that at a Christian concert not everyone is saved and I also know that even when you are saved anger is still very real. Satan knows our weaknesses. But it was just a reminder to me, and very convicting, that those of us who are saved, need to place our lives and our actions in His hands every single day. We have to continually pray that He will use our actions and our words to bring Him glory because people are watching.

I say all this not to point fingers at this lady and say she must not be saved. I have no clue about her relationship with the Lord, that is between her and the Lord. What I do mean to point out in all of this is that the world is watching each and every one of us. Watching how we live our lives. Watching how we react in difficult situations. Watching the words that come out of our mouths. And what do they learn if professing born again Christians act just like the world?

We all sin. There is only one perfect person who ever walked this earth, Jesus, in case you didn’t know :); however we are supposed to imitate Him. To strive to live our lives in a way that is pleasing to Him. The Bible says…

1 Corinthians 11:1 “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.”

1 Thessalonians 1:6 “And you became imitators of us and of the Lord, when you received the message with joy that comes from the Holy Spirit, despite great affliction.”

Philippians 3:17-18 “Be imitators of me, brothers and sisters, and watch carefully those who are living this way, just as you have us as an example. For many live (about whom I often told you, and now say even with tears) as enemies of the cross of Christ.”

1 Timothy 4:11-16 “Command and teach these things. Let no one look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in your speech, conduct, love, faithfulness, and purity. Until I come, give attention to the public reading of scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the spiritual gift you have, given to you and confirmed by prophetic words when the elders laid hands on you. Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that everyone will see your progress. Be conscientious about how you live and what you teach. Persevere in this, because by doing so you will save both yourself and those who listen to you.”

Ephesians 5:1-2 “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

1 John 2:4-6 “Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.”

Romans 12: 2 - "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

1 Peter 2:12 - "Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us."

 

What do unbelievers (and believers alike) see when they watch you live your life?

Making Lemonade Out of Infertility

I am guest posting today over at Jamie’s Rabbits. Come check out my post on the embarrassments of infertility…well…on the things that should be embarrassing if I had an ounce of modesty left in me. :) While you are at it check out the rest of Jamie’s blog. She’s one of my favorite people and she’ll make you laugh even on the worst of days. Enjoy!

Breast Cancer Awareness? Um no.

For those of you not on Facebook this post might not make sense to you. But for those of you on Facebook you more than likely will know exactly what I am talking about. Lately there have been Facebook statuses that look something like this… “I am ___ weeks and I am craving _____”. The first time I saw it I thought the person really was pregnant…um, why would I not have thought that? Luckily, the Lord has brought me to a good place and for the first time in a long time I AM genuinely happy for my friends/acquaintances when I hear pregnancy announcements. HOWEVER, that has not always been the case and like I have posted about before here (I encourage you to check it out if you didn’t read it back in the day), Facebook can be a very painful place when you are struggling with infertility.

It seems like people are ALWAYS announcing pregnancies, complaining about pregnancy symptoms, making comments about wanting it to be over, etc. Those comments HURT when ALL YOU WANT is to experience the exact same thing! YOU want to be the one announcing your pregnancy, YOU want to be the one experiencing terrible heartburn and not being able to sleep at night. Pregnancy announcements cause such a roller coaster of emotions for those struggling with infertility and with Facebook those announcements and following updates can be constant reminders of what you are trying so desperately for.

All that to say, when I saw this post I just thought the girl was pregnant but then farther down in my feed there was another status update that followed the same pattern. I started to get confused at that point and then through some investigating found out that it is a Facebook game to raise awareness for breast cancer. Um, what???

First of all…it doesn’t. There is nothing about that status update that has anything to do with breast cancer. It does not raise breast cancer awareness.

Second of all…it can be VERY hurtful to women (and men) who are struggling with infertility and loss. It is making light of something so special and rubbing in their faces yet again that they are not able to post an honest status about being pregnant.YOU might think that it is silly for such a little Facebook game to cause that roller coaster of emotions, but it does. Approximately 1 in 6 women experience infertility, so chances are there are many women that YOU are Facebook friends with that are dealing with it. PLEASE think before you post!!!

One of the blogs I follow blogged about this exact topic, so I know I am not alone here in my annoyance of this game. Check her post out here…there was some HEATED discussion in the comments section.

What about you? Were you annoyed or hurt at this “game”?

“Make It Me, Lord”

A friend sent this link to me and I wanted to share. A girl named Brittany Baker wrote the below song after visiting Maria’s Big House of Hope (One of Show Hope’s homes for orphans in China who have special needs). It is my prayer too!

“Make It Me, Lord”

Pulling into a ‘Great Big House’ on Father’s Day night
Hoping to SEE the needs of the orphans plight
But when she called me ‘Mama,’ then my heart did break
All they need is a family; who will fight for their sake?

Make it me Lord; take my hands.
I may be broken Jesus, but I’ll fulfill your commands.
Help me live out your example of love,
That they may know it comes from above.

Walking into a small room with mats on the floor
Seeing so many children that are broken and poor
But when I put the boy down, he reached up to me
All they need is a family to love unconditionally.

Make it me Lord; take my hands.
I may be broken Jesus, but I’ll fulfill your commands.
Help me live out your example of love,
That they may know it comes from above.

The needs are so great; our hands are so small.
Give us ears to hear Your specific call.

Make it me Lord; take my hands.
I may be broken Jesus, but I’ll fulfill your commands.
Help me live out your example of love,
That they may know it comes from above.
That they may know it comes from above.

The Infertility Treatment Vs. Adoption Wars

Dawn at Creating a Family wrote an article today that echoed some of my thoughts from my post the other day and I wanted to share. During both our infertility journey and now the adoption journey we have received many questions. Some more intrusive than others, some out of genuine curiosity and some out of I don’t know what. Another big one we have been getting is, “Why would you adopt internationally when there are so many children in the US that need homes?” (I get this one A LOT because part of my job is recruiting adoptive parents for the children in foster care in Alabama.) All I can say to that is that a child is a child regardless of where they live and this is just the path the Lord has us on. No way is better than the other, God just has a child for us in Russia!

Anywho, most of those questions don’t bother me when I know the intent is out of genuine curiosity. But sometimes I DO feel like there is judgment behind the questions and that is what Dawn really talked about in her post today.

My favorite part of her post said, “I don’t have a problem with real, honest to goodness questions. I’m all for increased dialog and understanding. But the intent of a real question is to receive information. Many of these so-called questions are veiled, or not so veiled, attempts to judge the other person’s decision. These questions come with an inherent sense of the superiority of one method of family building.”

Check out her post here. I’ll give you a minute to read it…now what did you think?