“Blessings” by Laura Story

This is a great song with amazing lyrics that my mom introduced me to…

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Check it out here!

"Children of God" by Third Day

This is my new favorite song. Awesome group. Awesome message. Watch the video and get chills! :)

I’m so glad that Jesus gave His life for us and rose from the grave so that we can be called children of God!!!

In a Little While

One of my friends, Becky, that I have met through this blog has recently started her own blog, and while she has only posted twice - this post is great!  Head over to her blog and read “In a Little While” as she talks about how we need to view the waiting times in our lives through God’s perspective.  Below is an excerpt from her post…

“When we wait God style, hoping in the Lord, resting in his powerful arms, our wait is not cumbersome.

Rather it is a time that provides reflection and relaxation as we rest in the plans of the Creator who is fully in control of any situation we may encounter.”

See?  Good stuff, huh?  Check it out!

Cardboard Testimony

Unless you have lived under a rock…which maybe you have :)…you have probably heard of cardboard testimonies. Check it out here if you haven’t seen one, and get your tissue ready! It is basically a way to share your testimony on a piece of cardboard in 2 brief statements. Our church is going to have a cardboard testimonies service in May and Barry and I were asked to submit our written testimony of the struggles we have been through the past few years and how the Lord has been faithful. Here is what I submitted…I will share Barry’s later…

“Where to start? We have been through so much since May 2008 but the Lord’s love and faithfulness for us has shown brightly through it all. We have been trying to become parents for three years now. We have been through countless tests, surgeries and procedures. We have lost two babies that are now in Heaven with Jesus. We have grieved like I never knew possible. We have been on an emotional and physical roller coaster. We have no idea what our future holds and it’s scary.

But here’s what we DO know. God is in total control. He has not forgotten us. He understands our pain. Everything that touches us has passed through the Lord’s hands first. And while we might not understand why we are experiencing these trials…HE DOES!

For the first time in our lives we have FELT His strength and comfort. We have experienced it firsthand and it’s a feeling like no other. There have been many days that we have felt like we just can’t go on and in those moments all we can do is cry out, “Lord, help!” And He does! He gives us the strength to get through that day. He gives us JOY in midst of sorrow and uncertainty. “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” John 10:10. Life’s circumstances might not be going the way WE would want them to but we can still have JOY through it all.

We can SEE Him using our experiences, trials and hardships to bring glory to His name. We have been able to share the comfort we have received with so many others who are hurting. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I have a blog (http://www.whilewaitingiwillworship.blogspot.com/) to share our struggles and how the Lord is bringing indescribably peace through it all. The blog started off as a place to “vent” and has now become a ministry that I am absolutely humbled to be a part of. This blog has been viewed 28,409 times by people in 10 countries! How cool is that?? God is using some hard hard circumstances in our lives to bring glory to His name. I am in awe when I think that He is actually using little ol’ me!!

Steven Curtis Chapman’s wife, Mary Beth, once said that they have been given a “treasure” in the loss of Marie Sue. A “treasure” that none of them would have ever wanted but because of the circumstances in their lives they now have an amazing platform on which to witness to others. That is how we feel. We have been given this “treasure”…a gift that we never would have requested but look what the Lord is doing with it! While we wait to become parents here on earth we will continue to praise Him and follow His leading to use this “treasure” to draw others closer to Him as we share how the Lord, and only the Lord, continues to bring us through the darkest time of our lives.

My relationship with the Lord has never been closer. I feel on fire for Him and want my life to bring Him glory in whatever way He allows. We do not know where this journey will take us but we can be sure that HE knows and we are excited to see what He has in store!”

Man...I have no idea how we will put all of that onto a piece of cardboard!!

Tough Choices

So often in life we have to make difficult decisions.  For example, in an infertile’s world… “When do I contact a reproductive endocrinologist?”, “What treatments am I willing to pursue and for how long?”, “What drugs am I willing to take?”,  “Do I pursue treatments this month or do I take time off”, “How many IUI’s are realistic?”, “When do we move on to IVF?”, “DO we move on to IVF?”, “When is enough enough and we move on to other options?”, …to the more mundane decisions like, “How long do I wait for my Dr. to call me back before I call THEM back?” or “How am I going to juggle my schedule to accommodate all of the doctor appointments, monitoring appointments and procedures?” 

OK, I could go on for pages and pages about the decisions that we have to make, but we all have to make difficult decisions in life, infertile or not.  And a lot of times there isn’t a right or wrong choice.  There are many good choices, but not a clear path to take. Sometimes there even is a logical path to take but…The question we must answer is, “What is the Lord’s will…what decision does the Lord want me to make?”  We need to be asking the Lord to guide us even in the mundane decisions.  We must pray for wisdom in making these choices so that we know we are walking along the path the Lord has for us.  Sometimes the path He leads us on might not make sense to others.  It might not even make sense in the eyes of the medical community.  But as long as we are earnestly seeking the Lord’s will and obeying, we can be confident that we are right where we need to be.  See the below excerpt from none other than Girlfriends in God.  :)

VERSE: 
“This is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ.”
   -- Philippians 1:9-10

THOUGHT: 
I don't know about you, but my most difficult decisions are not about choosing between good and bad. I usually know what is good and what is bad, especially when bad involves evil. My toughest choices are when I have to choose between good, better, and best. My love for God usually overcomes my weakness and I choose good over bad. But unless I've placed myself before God's word and surrendered my heart to him in prayer, I have a very tough time choosing between good and best. Yet I'm convinced that much of what God would love to do through us today goes lacking because we've settled for good when he longs to lead us to best!

PRAYER: 
Gracious and Almighty God, teach me your ways and give me your heart as I strive to not only love you, but to know your will and have insight into your ways. Help me to know the best things to do today and through the rest of my life. Give me wisdom to use my time in the best way possible to live out your will in my work, with my family, among my friends, and especially before those who do not know Christ as their Savior. In the name of Jesus Christ, my Savior and Lord I pray. Amen.

 

And a couple more verses on the topic…

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."  Proverbs 3:5-6

Abundant Life!

“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” John 10:10.

“Jesus lived and died so that we can experience abundant life. Jesus did not come so that we can merely survive life. Pagans can survive life. God’s plan is for us to experience joy and peace – no matter what life holds” (Girlfriends in God).

Isn’t that great?  Jesus came to this earth, suffered beyond our comprehension, died for us and rose again so that WE can have a relationship with Him and live life abundantly!  Live life full of joy!  We do not deserve our salvation, an abundant life nor joy…but through God’s grace we are given those things if we just accept His gift!  And how much better is living life joyfully and abundantly than merely surviving?!?

Joy does not equal happiness.  There are a lot of things that we will go through in life that do not produce happiness…but joy?  Joy is available to us through every storm in life…through Jesus!  Praise the Lord for joy!!  :)

What does that mean to live life more abundantly and full of joy?  To me, it means believing that everything that I face in life has passed through God’s hands BEFORE it reaches me.  Even when I don’t understand it, HE does and has allowed the trials I face. Therefore, if He has allowed the trials to happen then He has a plan through them.  And if He has a plan, then what good is worrying and stressing going to do for me?  Nada. It also means not letting the devil steal my joy.  Yes, I have sad days, I have angry days, but JOY is deeper.  It isn’t conditional or situational.  Joy cannot be taken away from you because true joy comes from the Lord.  Joy is a deep seeded contentment and appreciation that we have a true reason to hope.  It is praising the Lord in the storms of life because He will never leave you, it is thanking the Lord for our salvation when it feels like everything else is falling apart around us, it is trusting that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28, it is accepting and living in the peace God has given you, it is recognizing all of the many many blessings in your life and realizing they all come from Him...

“The joy of the Lord is your strength” Nehemiah 8:10.

Here’s to living an abundant life full of joy!  :)

“He Will Carry Me” by Mark Schultz

I have many songs in my blog drafts that have been building up for months and I have not been very good about posting them!  So here is one of the many that are waiting to be posted.  :)  Man how I love this chorus!  How many of us feel like we have been wounded in the battle of life?  I do…but He is ALL the strength that I will ever need.  He is all the strength that YOU will ever need.  He will carry us when we feel like we can’t do life for another second.  Love.it.

“He Will Carry Me”

I call, You hear me
I've lost it all
And it's more then I can bear
I feel so empty

You're strong, I'm weary
I'm holding on
But I feel like giving in
But still You're with me

And even though I'm walking
Through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me

I know I'm broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You're always with me

And even though I'm walking
Through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me
He will carry me

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I have never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said You'd see me through the storm

And even though I'm walking
Through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me
He will carry me
He will carry me

You can listen to the song here.

It’s been forever

I’ve been a terrible blogger…I’ve been really busy and…well, I just haven’t felt like blogging.  :)  I don’t even know what to blog about since it has been so long.  Where do I start?

The past few weeks have been rough and yet God has given me a strength to get through it all that I can’t even explain.  Last Saturday was our due date and I had dreaded that day since the miscarriage.  I just knew it was going to be the hardest day.  But God is good, He really really is!  We ended up going to the beach for the weekend just to get away and it ended up being a good weekend.  A good weekend when I thought it would be the worst!  God gave us great distractions through beautiful weather, a great resort, a gumbo festival, peaceful alone time…it just really was a good weekend.  We even got our picture taken at the Gumbo Festival by a local paper…we’re famous!  :)

Picture courtesy of The Destin Log

The things that could have put a damper on the weekend?  We got another negative pregnancy test (2nd IUI since the miscarriage), I started my period and a gigantic pregnant lady decided to sit right in front of us at the beach.  Two of my good friends (plus several other acquaintances) gave birth this month when I should have been right there with them.  AND I had to teach a 3 hour class on Grief and Loss in the midst of it all.  As hard as all of this should have been, I felt at such peace that I still enjoyed our beach weekend.

I just can’t really explain how hard all of this is and how easy God is making it at the same time.  Trust me -there are still tears, there are still hard days, but He is so good in getting me through it all.  The future is so unclear and it’s scary when I let myself dwell on it but God doesn’t want us worrying about the future so in those moments I again turn my thoughts back over to Him.  I know that whatever comes at us He will get us through it…I have always KNOWN that but now I FEEL it.  Now I know it through experience, through living it…

I wish I could find the words to express the way that the Lord is helping us through this time in our lives, but I just don’t think there even are words to express it all.  No words to express my gratitude to Him for holding me up and no words to express the strength and comfort and peace He has given.  Those just sound like churchy words that people throw out but I’m not just throwing them out…I TRULY FEEL them.  Just trust me when I say if you don’t have a personal relationship with the Lord, you need one!  You need to experience this kind of peace!  :) If you don’t know the Lord, please talk to me about how you can have the kind of peace that He has given me.  Seriously, there is nothing like it. 

I also want to take a brief second to say that I have awesome friends.  There were several of you that remembered our due date and I got many encouraging phone calls, texts and emails.  God has blessed me with each of you and I am so glad to have you all in my life!

Waiting Patiently

Psalm 40 has popped up several times in the past few weeks in various devotionals and I love reading through it.  I can really relate with many of the things that David says in this passage.  Here is Psalm 40 (emphasis mine)…

¹ I waited patiently for the LORD;
   he turned to me and heard my cry.
² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
   out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
   and gave me a firm place to stand.
³ He put a new song in my mouth,
   a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
   and put their trust in him.

⁴ Blessed is the one
   who trusts in the LORD,
who does not look to the proud,
   to those who turn aside to false gods.
⁵ Many, LORD my God,
   are the wonders you have done,
   the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
   were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
   they would be too many to declare.

⁶ Sacrifice and offering you did not desire—
   but my ears you have opened—
   burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require.
⁷ Then I said, “Here I am, I have come—
   it is written about me in the scroll.
⁸ I desire to do your will, my God;
   your law is within my heart.”

⁹ I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly;
   I do not seal my lips, LORD,
   as you know.
¹⁰ I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
   I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help.
I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness
   from the great assembly.

¹¹ Do not withhold your mercy from me, LORD;
   may your love and faithfulness always protect me.
¹² For troubles without number surround me;
   my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
   and my heart fails within me.
¹³ Be pleased to save me, LORD;
   come quickly, LORD, to help me.

¹⁴ May all who want to take my life
   be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
   be turned back in disgrace.
¹⁵ May those who say to me, “Aha! Aha!”
   be appalled at their own shame.
¹⁶ But may all who seek you
   rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
   “The LORD is great!”

¹⁷ But as for me, I am poor and needy;
   may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
   you are my God, do not delay.

 

Below is an excerpt from, of course, Girlfriends in God on Psalm 40.  I didn’t include the whole devotional, just bits and pieces of it…also, my thoughts are in italics…

February 4, 2011 
Coming Out of the Dark
Mary Southerland 

"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God." Psalm 40:1-3

1.  Wait.  The psalmist simply says, "I waited." Waiting is not passive. Waiting is meant to be a time of preparation, a time of rest and healing.  To wait means to accept the pit.  (I LOVE the statement that “waiting is not passive”.  God doesn’t ask us to sit around and twiddle our thumbs while we wait for a baby, while we wait for a new job, while we wait for more money…waiting is ACTIVE.  It is a time of preparation, rest and healing…what does God want YOU to do while you wait???) 

Isaiah 45:3 (NIV) "I will give you hidden treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."  Any time "LORD" is capitalized in Scripture, it means "Abba Father." This verse indicates that our Father has gone before us and in every dark moment or painful circumstance has buried a treasure or stored a secret. The only way we can find the treasure or learn the secret is to pass through that darkness. Some things cannot be learned in the light. To wait means to accept the pit, knowing it is for our good.  (Isn’t that a pretty awesome thought too?  We aren’t going through the darkness in vain…God IS teaching us something if we only listen.)

2.  Be patient.  David said, "I waited patiently for the Lord."  The word "patiently" means "without tiring and with perseverance."  (Man, waiting patiently is HARD stuff! Without tiring?  Can’t do that without God!!)

Depression may not be the problem you are facing, but at some point in life, we will all face some kind of pit. It may be a pit that we have dug with our own hands of wrong choices or it could be a pit that has been uniquely designed for us by the enemy. But a pit is a pit - a place of paralyzing fear and numbing doubt that is constantly fed by our human frailty and desperate attempts to escape the darkness. (How many times have YOU had paralyzing fear and numbing doubt??  Um how about on a daily basis??  :)  But God is there to rescue us!!)

The good news is that God is drawn to broken people. Psalm 40:1 says "He turned to me." Notice it does not say that David turned to God. Honestly, I doubt David had the strength to turn to God ... so God turned to him. (I LOVE this too…I can’t count the number of times that I didn’t have the strength to go on.  In those moments all I can say is “God HELP me”, and He turns to me and helps!) God heard the cry of David and he will hear yours. I don't know if you are in a pit and need help or if someone you love is in that pit and needs your help, but one thing I do know is that the purpose of the pit is to purify and then restore. Right now, surrender the broken pieces of your life to God. He can and will bring you out of the dark. 

Let's Pray
Father, I am so tired. I can't hear Your voice or sense Your presence in my life. My faith is weak and I need Your strength to go on. Right now, I am laying the broken pieces of my life at Your feet and counting on You to come through for me.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Read Psalm 40:1-3. "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."

Circle all of the "action" words in these verses. What does God ask you to do? What does God say that He will do? Do you believe Him? Are you willing to let Him be God in your life?

Fear, Trust and Courage

I wanted to share a few quotes from Becky’s blog from a long time ago…Well the Bible verses are actually originally quotes from the Bible… :) :)

• "Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, ‘Don’t be afraid; just believe.’ ” Mark 5:36
• "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." Psalm 56:3
• In the Bible, the antidote to fear is trust; it is believing.
• Courage isn't the absence of fear, but the judgment that there is something more important at stake.
• We don't just trust God to let us avoid what we fear most. We determine to trust Him no matter what, even if our worst nightmare befalls us. "If ____, then God will take care of me."  "If ____, then God has a plan."  "If ____, then God desires to accomplish something monumental in me."  "If ___, then God will demonstrate His sufficiency to me."

Thanks for sharing Becky!