One Year Birthday

Today (or thereabout) would have been our baby's 1 year birthday. She is not here with us to celebrate with cake and friends, however, today I do celebrate that we had 14 weeks with our baby and that one day we WILL be able to celebrate together!!

I'm doing good though...this had the potential of being a rough day, but I really am okay. God's good like that. :) I know God's hand is in all of this and He is in control. I'm sad that our baby isn't here with us but God has a reason for not allowing that. My job is just to trust. Today I do that. Trusting Him that His plans are better than mine!

The Battle is Against Satan

I received many emails, comments, texts, etc. after my last couple of posts and I appreciate the prayers and concern so so much! I wanted to share what one of those emails, from a good friend and adoptive mother, said. It is a great reminder for all of us that are in the midst of a battle, regardless of the kind, that I think we often forget…

“I have to say the only reason I can surmise [for all of the hurting, pain, etc.] is to point a finger at one person and one person only.  It would stand to reason that this one person would be the only one who would benefit from any resistance to a child being placed in a loving home or a Christian couple uniting with the child God intended to be a part of their family, because he is the only person who would want this process to be extended, if not all together stopped.  Yep, you guessed it, satan.  While it seems our struggle is with the international country, the government, or anyone who could possibly delay the process for adopting parents, it is really a spiritual battle.  You are at war.  And, not only that, you are winning.  Therefore, it stands to reason the attacks (aka...friends hurting and struggling, family illness, death, day to day living struggles and pessimistic thoughts creeping into your head...) would increase.  But, my dear friend, you know the end.  You know God is victorious! He defeats satan.  Hold fast to His plan.  Don't lose sight of it, no matter what!  Tighten your belt, devote even more time to God's word, or prayer, or praise music, or whatever, hold on tight to Jesus' hand!  It will be a bumpy ride, but in the end, you will have a beautiful child to raise for Christ!  When that day arrives, all of this will be a distant memory, instantaneously!  The moment you see that baby's face for the first time, you will know it is all worth it….eternity, which is the real reason we are involved in God's plan of adoption in the first place, is so much longer.... and it will be worth it!”

Amen! :)

Goodbye and Good Riddance January

I say that and February hasn’t started off the best either, but…

January was a rough month. There has been so much pain, hurting, disappointment and frustration around me. It is laying so heavily on my heart. I feel like every time I turn around there is another person I am lifting up to the Lord. I am so glad that the Lord has blessed us with prayer and the ability to lift our friends and family up to Him, but it hurts me to see so many others hurting around me.

My first week back at work after the holidays one of my coworkers passed away fairly unexpectedly. This continues to be tough for all of us who worked with her, and obviously her family, with so many reminders around us of her absence.

Then our good friends Rachel and Jeremy that I referenced here had their second miscarriage within a 4 month time span. I hurt so much for them and hate to see my friends suffering like that.

There have been several other things going on in our lives that seem petty compared to people losing loved ones so I am not even going to go into detail. But there has been a lot going on personally that makes for a pretty icky month.

January came to a close with that disappointing adoption news that I shared yesterday.

So I thought…surely, surely, February will be better. January is over and February is a new start. Then I wake up this morning and our lizard is dead. (I know, it’s weird that we have a lizard but I am allergic to anything with fur or feathers…so a lizard and fish is about all we can have in the pet arena.) I am telling myself that he died before midnight so it doesn’t count for February. But my goodness.

I don’t say all of this to throw myself a pity party…just to say that thank goodness the month is over. God is so good though and will give us the strength to get through it all. He wants us to look to Him, not at our circumstances. He can see the whole picture and we just simply cannot.

So in the midst of it all, I am praising God that HE can give us hope even when things around us seem hopeless. HE can give us peace in the midst of the storm. HE can show us the way when it seems like there is no clear path. HE will see us through it all!!! Even the icky Januarys.