Saturday, July 24, 2010

Very Cool God Thing #1

We found out that we were pregnant 13 days after our IUI (IUI #4 was on May 29th and my first blood work was on Friday, June 11th). My beta number was at 29 that day and they like to see the beta numbers be at least 50 at 14 days post ovulation. The nurse told us we were pregnant but the numbers were extremely low putting me at an increased risk for miscarriage. It could be because we tested a day early, or it could mean that something is not right. When I got off the phone I didn't know how to I happy? am I scared? Do I let myself get excited or do I stay guarded? They wanted to repeat the levels on Monday, so that was the longest weekend of our entire lives. I got several of you to pray pray pray over that weekend (I can't put into words how much I appreciate those prayers and each of you.) Also, over the weekend, I took an at home pregnancy test every day to see if the test line continued to darken (indicating that the HcG level was increasing)...and it got darker every day!

On Monday they wanted to see the levels be at least 87 (they are supposed to double every other day) and my levels were 132! I went in for more blood work the following Friday and they wanted to see the levels be at least 523 and mine were 939! Yay for increasing beta (HcG levels!!!)

After our second beta level (June 14th) we decided to tell our immediate family about the positive test. We were still so nervous because it was so early and the devil was trying to steal my joy and make me as anxious as possible. Of course all of our family was soooo excited for us. When we told Barry's mom she told us this little story (AKA Very Cool God Thing #1)...back in February she was reading my blog and was just so upset about everything that we were going through. She was crying out to the Lord that He would bless us with a child. All of a sudden, she said, a peace came over her and she heard a voice that said "You will know in June". She felt so certain that it was the Lord speaking to her that she went to her calendar, flipped to June and drew a smiley face on the top of the calendar. She never told anyone until we told her in June that we were pregnant!!

I strongly believe that that little promise was straight from the Lord for me to assure me that things were going to be OK. How cool is God!?!? Stay tuned for Very Cool God Thing #2...

My 100th Post!!!

Woo-hoo!!  I cannot believe I have been blogging for as long as I have…I have blogged 100 times!  And you guys are still with me!  :)

And what better way to celebrate the 100th post than to announce…

We are pregnant!!!

We are 10 weeks today.  Still early, but I didn’t want to keep the news any longer.  :)  I have gotten many a comments and emails asking what is going on since you haven’t heard from me in so long.

I have been holding off on posting for many reasons.  I really do apologize for waiting this long, but many many people in my “real life world” read the blog and we just weren’t ready for the whole world to know yet.  I do hate that I had to leave everyone hanging though. Another reason I have been holding off on posting is because I know how these announcements feel.  I know how painful they can be and I know how if you are having a bad day they can definitely bring tears to your eyes (OK, even on a good day this kind of news can even bring tears to your eyes.)  You want to be happy for the person making the announcement but you are so sad that it is not YOU making that announcement.  The LAST thing I want to do is to hurt ANY of you wonderful ladies.  So I prayed and prayed and prayed about when and how to share…

Since finding out I was pregnant I have struggled with “why me?” Sounds crazy seeing as though that seems like a question to ask yourself DURING the infertility struggle.  But I have asked it now.  I honestly don’t think I even asked it while struggling with infertility because I KNOW that everything that happens to me passes through God’s hand for a reason.  I KNEW that He was using my struggle to minister to others and I am SO thankful for that.  But now I am asking “why me?” Why am I pregnant and so many other wonderful women out there are not?  Why?

And this is the answer I got…it’s not about me.  Yes, God answered our prayer for a baby, but it’s not about ME.  It’s about HIM and what HIS purpose is.  He has a purpose for this pregnancy.  It didn’t just happen.  He didn’t create this miracle just to make me happy.  It is all part of His greater plan and He always knew it would happen this way.  “All of the days ordained for [this child] were written in [His] book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16)  He has a reason for creating this specific child at this specific time.  “For by Him were all things created…ALL things were created by Him and FOR HIM” Colossians 1:16.  AND  “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” Ephesians 2:10.  He created this child at this exact time for a PURPOSE.  He has a purpose for this pregnancy, for me in this new part of the journey and for this child.

He has a purpose for each and every one of you.  He has a purpose for each and every once of your children that are yet to be in your arms.  We don’t know what that plan is, what that purpose is and when it will unfold.  But we can be certain that He has things under control and He always will…even when we don’t understand the “whys” of life.

I am so sorry if I brought hurt into your life today and I am praying for all of you as I type this post and always.  I want this to be an encouragement to each of you that miracles DO happen in God’s timing.  Thank you for your prayers and please keep them up!  Like I said, we are still early in this pregnancy but I am trusting God and putting this child’s life in His capable hands.

I have several very cool stories about how God’s hand has definitely been on all of this that I will be sharing soon…so stay posted!