Friday, January 13, 2017
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.
I just sit here having my quiet time and I have this overwhelming sense of thankfulness to God for bringing me out of the pit! When I think of where the doctors thought/think I should be...when I think of everything that I (foreseeablee (sp??))) will never be able to do (go to friends houses without Barry (can't get in because of steps), ride roller coasters (neurologist said too risky), etc.)...when I think of where I've been and the very real possibility I could be there again...when I think of the helplessness, hopelessness, and depression I felt for awhile after the stroke. I could so easily fall back into a state of depression.
But instead I feel utter peace and contentment. It scares me to think of where I would be, physically and emotionally, without Him - the ONLY one that can bring true peace. Sure I still have moments of sadness over everything I've lost, but they don't grieve me anymore. THANKS BE TO GOD!!!
Friday, November 4, 2016
Parenting is hard. I wouldn't trade it, Elijah in particular, for the world. But it's hard parenting a child with a history of neglect..from a wheelchair I might add. I'm not asking for sympathy AT ALL, God made ME AND BARRY to be Elijah's parents - with our specific abilities, strengths and perspectives. It's just hard. I ask for prayers for wisdom for me and Barry and a calm/obedient spirit in Elijah.
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
This is a big week of celebrating for our family. Yesterday we FINALLY closed on our house, today, four years ago, the judge in Russia said that we could be a family and Sunday marks my 4th "I'm alive" day (4 years since my massive stroke). Wow. A lot to celebrate and reflect on.
It's easier to lean on God when your life is in turmoil, and you have nothing else but Him. But it takes an effort to further your relationship with Him when your life is cruising. I love this quote from Bath Moore's "Entrusted" bible study:
"None of us will accidentally fulfill our calling. Fulfillment will require focus, stamina, self discipline, and a certain amount of suffering."
I typed "sacrifice" twice in retyping that quote, so, apparently God wants to add that word to the list.
I like that. We have to be purposeful in our lives to fulfill what God has called us to do. Important to remember, because when life becomes comfortable, it's easy to coast. But that's not what God wants us to do. We need to be purposely sharing the gospel and seek opportunities to share our story.
So, on this eventful week, and always, I want to do just that. Any others??
Sunday, October 9, 2016
Sorry it has been oh so long. I had all these grand plans for while Elijah was at school and I am not at all getting them done. Sigh.
We are in the house! Have been for a couple of weeks. It is SO nice having everything accessible! Elijah and I have especially loved having a fenced in back yard that we can actually get to. Elijah has just loved running around. The wider hallways are AWESOME!! I don't run into walls...much. I could go on and on about the accessibility but that would take too long, so just trust me. :) I LOVE the house!!
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
I am JUMPING out of my comfort zone. I am 1) starting to volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center and, as if that isn't enough, 2) co-leading the 3yo Sunday School class.
I am SUPER nervous about both things. As in petrified. Both things I have never done before, much less post stroke. I am afraid I won't be able to do things. I am afraid of the unknown.
It'd be much easier to continue on status quo - but we are called to serve. My service is going to look different, but God will work out the details. I have to constantly remind myself of that. So, please pray as I start these new ventures. I need courage, peace, abilities, creativity...
Saturday, August 6, 2016
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights." James 1:17
Elijah is an absolute gift from God. Every child is, don't get me wrong, but God knew I would need Elijah. He helps me SO much...and the joy he brings...oh my. He starts kindergarten on the 17th. Man, I'm gonna miss that little boy while he's at school.
Thursday, July 28, 2016
I had a neurologist appointment in Birmingham (about 3 1/2 hours from home) today. Every time I leave I am just so thankful to God. My neurologist always looks at the scans of my brain right after the stroke and says something to the extent of, "people don't normally live through this." He is always surprised at what all I am doing by myself and (I get the impression) he is not a believer and says that I am an inspiration.
I can only give God all the credit, and I do to my doctor. How can I be bitter about my situation when I could be dead? God saved my life on October 16, 2012 for a purpose. Each one of us has a purpose on this earth (if you didn't, you wouldn't be here still). I want to live out my purpose well, what about you?
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Today, on the Facebook page I monitor for adoptive parents in Alabama, I asked them to share about when their child(ren) was placed with them. It got me thinking about when Elijah was placed with us. I was not even in the same thing country. I was in a rehab hospital. Not exactly how I had envisioned things.
I had planned to wear Elijah in the Ergo and walk around Moscow as a family. Instead I was was wearing a bib and not walking. Not what I had planned.
It makes me think of the song "Blessings" by Laura Story.
This was not what I thought my life would look like. But God knew. He made blessings come out of a mess; putting my priorities in place, my parents moving closer and more time with Elijah to name a few. God allowed it, and doesn't want a hurt to be wasted.
So, Elijah's placement didn't go as I planned. But it was still planned by the Creator.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Just had to share what I was studying in my quiet time.
James 1:2-4 NIV
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
I will persevere today :)
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Yesterday was a hard day. I am helping in VBS (Vacation Bible School) this year, Elijah's first year at our church, and it is emotionally hard. I am helping in the babies class (3ish months thru a year) and I am really struggling with not doing what I used to be able to do. I am good entertaining or feeding (well I make a mess, but....) but need help picking up, etc. I can't change the babies positions, feed bottles, stand up with them, bounce...not a lot of the things that used to come second nature. I'm helping in there...just not what I want to be doing.
So, yesterday was not good. I had to come to grips with the new me. (I do nursery at church occasionally, but that is only for an hour and Elijah & Barry are there to help.) Today was much better.
I meditated on the scripture from 1 Samuel 16 which says, "The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart .”
I am serving God, He allowed me to be this way...so, I will keep trudging on, even if it doesn't look the way it used to. The Lord sees my heart, and that is what matters.