Monday, May 1, 2017

Six Months?!?

Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland
. (Found during my daily quiet time. It was not sought after. So perfect.)

My new therapist (who I have actually therapyized :) with for 4? years) said to give her 6 months and I would be walking (with a cane). At first I called her cocky but I really feel like she could be right. I have felt at peace in the wheelchair but I feel like God could really make this happen now.

No one has ever given me hope or a goal before. Everyone is always impressed with how far I've come, but never gave me a plausible goal of walking again. I always knew that God was capable of allowing me to walk again, but it always seemed far off. It is real now and, man, am I motivated.

Maybe that was her goal, but whatever the case, I am WORKING. I am tired. My muscles are tired. But, honestly, He is giving me the strength I need to keep going. It's pretty cool to experience.

On the flip side, I'm scared. Scared of failing. I need to remember that it's not up to me. I am doing all I can, and the rest is up to God. It's in His fully capable hands.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Therapy

Hey everyone! I'm no longer at my old therapy location, I'm somewhere new! The old location SIGNIFICANTLY raised their prices which started me looking at other locations. I had prepaid until august, but was so impressed with the new place, that I wanted to start sooner. 


One thing good is that I will be doing therapy again. I had been doing wellness TWICE a week (I was walking on a treadmill with a harness for 30 minutes and then doing abs or weights). At the new place, I will be doing therapy (walker, standing, coordination) THREE times a week. 


It's hard to explain, but I feel like things are going to change now. For the longest time I've felt content with things as status quo, but I feel really motivated now. I was motivated before, poor choice of words, but I feel like it's time for change. (And that "change" is in God's timing, not necessarily tomorrow.) I realized that I'm leaning too much on my own strength/knowledge. This is about God's power. I am merely the vessel. 


I will miss everyone at SAMC, but am excited to turn over a new leaf. 


Saturday, March 4, 2017

Surgery

Well, I should have posted this before now, but I had surgery this past week. A hysterectomy. I stayed one night in the hospital and have been home two nights. Yesterday was bad. The abdominal pain has been manageable, I have a high pain tolerance, but my body is WEIRD.   It takes pain not normally. I can deal with the abdominal pain but the whole right side of my body throbs. It apparently can't tell where it hurts so it's decided to hurt everywhere. Lovely. Yesterday I was alternating Advil and percoset and was still crying, I was in so much pain. 

So far, so good today! Yay! The hardest part will be laying low. I am a bustler!! But I know I need to take it very easy. Sigh. 

I am COMPLETELY ok with having the hysterectomy. In fact, it was me that suggested it to my dr. It's just amazing how far I've come. To praying that that uterus would carry a baby to practically volunteering to have it taken out. God is good!

Friday, January 13, 2017

Thankfulness

Psalm 40:1-3 

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.

I just sit here having my quiet time and I have this overwhelming sense of thankfulness to God for bringing me out of the pit! When I think of where the doctors thought/think I should be...when I think of everything that I (foreseeablee (sp??))) will never be able to do (go to friends houses without Barry (can't get in because of steps), ride roller coasters (neurologist said too risky),  etc.)...when I think of where I've been and the very real possibility I could be there again...when I think of the helplessness, hopelessness, and depression I felt for awhile after the stroke. I could so easily fall back into a state of depression. 

But instead I feel utter peace and contentment. It scares me to think of where I would be, physically and emotionally, without Him - the ONLY one that can bring true peace. Sure I still have moments of sadness over everything I've lost, but they don't grieve me anymore. THANKS BE TO GOD!!!

Friday, November 4, 2016

Parenting

Parenting is hard. I wouldn't trade it, Elijah in particular, for the world. But it's hard parenting a child with a history of neglect..from a wheelchair I might add. I'm not asking for sympathy AT ALL, God made ME AND BARRY to be Elijah's parents - with our specific abilities, strengths and perspectives. It's just hard. I ask for prayers for wisdom for me and Barry and a calm/obedient spirit in Elijah. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Big week

This is a big week of celebrating for our family. Yesterday we FINALLY closed on our house, today, four years ago, the judge in Russia said that we could be a family and Sunday marks my 4th "I'm alive" day (4 years since my massive stroke). Wow. A lot to celebrate and reflect on. 

It's easier to lean on God when your life is in turmoil, and you have nothing else but Him. But it takes an effort to further your relationship with Him when your life is cruising. I love this quote from Bath Moore's "Entrusted" bible study:

"None of us will accidentally fulfill our calling. Fulfillment will require focus, stamina, self discipline, and a certain amount of suffering."

I typed "sacrifice" twice in retyping that quote, so, apparently God wants to add that word to the list. 

I like that. We have to be purposeful in our lives to fulfill what God has called us to do. Important to remember, because when life becomes comfortable, it's easy to coast. But that's not what God wants us to do. We need to be purposely sharing the gospel and seek opportunities to share our story. 

So, on this eventful week, and always, I want to do just that. Any others??

Sunday, October 9, 2016

House

Sorry it has been oh so long. I had all these grand plans for while Elijah was at school and I am not at all getting them done. Sigh. 

We are in the house! Have been for a couple of weeks. It is SO nice having everything accessible! Elijah and I have especially loved having a fenced in back yard that we can actually get to. Elijah has just loved running around. The wider hallways are AWESOME!! I don't run into walls...much. I could go on and on about the accessibility but that would take too long, so just trust me. :) I LOVE the house!!

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Out of my comfort zone

I am JUMPING out of my comfort zone. I am 1) starting to volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center and, as if that isn't enough, 2) co-leading the 3yo Sunday School class. 

I am SUPER nervous about both things. As in petrified. Both things I have never done before, much less post stroke. I am afraid I won't be able to do things. I am afraid of the unknown. 

It'd be much easier to continue on status quo - but we are called to serve. My service is going to look different, but God will work out the details. I have to constantly remind myself of that. So, please pray as I start these new ventures. I need courage, peace, abilities, creativity...

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Gift

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights." James 1:17

Elijah is an absolute gift from God. Every child is, don't get me wrong, but God knew I would need Elijah. He helps me SO much...and the joy he brings...oh my. He starts kindergarten on the 17th. Man, I'm gonna miss that little boy while he's at school. 

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Purpose

I had a neurologist appointment in Birmingham (about 3 1/2 hours from home) today. Every time I leave I am just so thankful to God. My neurologist always looks at the scans of my brain right after the stroke and says something to the extent of, "people don't normally live through this." He is always surprised at what all I am doing by myself and (I get the impression) he is not a believer and says that I am an inspiration. 

I can only give God all the credit, and I do to my doctor. How can I be bitter about my situation when I could be dead? God saved my life on October 16, 2012 for a purpose.  Each one of us has a purpose on this earth (if you didn't, you wouldn't be here still). I want to live out my purpose well, what about you?