Saturday, March 4, 2017


Well, I should have posted this before now, but I had surgery this past week. A hysterectomy. I stayed one night in the hospital and have been home two nights. Yesterday was bad. The abdominal pain has been manageable, I have a high pain tolerance, but my body is WEIRD.   It takes pain not normally. I can deal with the abdominal pain but the whole right side of my body throbs. It apparently can't tell where it hurts so it's decided to hurt everywhere. Lovely. Yesterday I was alternating Advil and percoset and was still crying, I was in so much pain. 

So far, so good today! Yay! The hardest part will be laying low. I am a bustler!! But I know I need to take it very easy. Sigh. 

I am COMPLETELY ok with having the hysterectomy. In fact, it was me that suggested it to my dr. It's just amazing how far I've come. To praying that that uterus would carry a baby to practically volunteering to have it taken out. God is good!

Friday, January 13, 2017


Psalm 40:1-3 

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.

I just sit here having my quiet time and I have this overwhelming sense of thankfulness to God for bringing me out of the pit! When I think of where the doctors thought/think I should be...when I think of everything that I (foreseeablee (sp??))) will never be able to do (go to friends houses without Barry (can't get in because of steps), ride roller coasters (neurologist said too risky),  etc.)...when I think of where I've been and the very real possibility I could be there again...when I think of the helplessness, hopelessness, and depression I felt for awhile after the stroke. I could so easily fall back into a state of depression. 

But instead I feel utter peace and contentment. It scares me to think of where I would be, physically and emotionally, without Him - the ONLY one that can bring true peace. Sure I still have moments of sadness over everything I've lost, but they don't grieve me anymore. THANKS BE TO GOD!!!

Friday, November 4, 2016


Parenting is hard. I wouldn't trade it, Elijah in particular, for the world. But it's hard parenting a child with a history of neglect..from a wheelchair I might add. I'm not asking for sympathy AT ALL, God made ME AND BARRY to be Elijah's parents - with our specific abilities, strengths and perspectives. It's just hard. I ask for prayers for wisdom for me and Barry and a calm/obedient spirit in Elijah. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Big week

This is a big week of celebrating for our family. Yesterday we FINALLY closed on our house, today, four years ago, the judge in Russia said that we could be a family and Sunday marks my 4th "I'm alive" day (4 years since my massive stroke). Wow. A lot to celebrate and reflect on. 

It's easier to lean on God when your life is in turmoil, and you have nothing else but Him. But it takes an effort to further your relationship with Him when your life is cruising. I love this quote from Bath Moore's "Entrusted" bible study:

"None of us will accidentally fulfill our calling. Fulfillment will require focus, stamina, self discipline, and a certain amount of suffering."

I typed "sacrifice" twice in retyping that quote, so, apparently God wants to add that word to the list. 

I like that. We have to be purposeful in our lives to fulfill what God has called us to do. Important to remember, because when life becomes comfortable, it's easy to coast. But that's not what God wants us to do. We need to be purposely sharing the gospel and seek opportunities to share our story. 

So, on this eventful week, and always, I want to do just that. Any others??

Sunday, October 9, 2016


Sorry it has been oh so long. I had all these grand plans for while Elijah was at school and I am not at all getting them done. Sigh. 

We are in the house! Have been for a couple of weeks. It is SO nice having everything accessible! Elijah and I have especially loved having a fenced in back yard that we can actually get to. Elijah has just loved running around. The wider hallways are AWESOME!! I don't run into walls...much. I could go on and on about the accessibility but that would take too long, so just trust me. :) I LOVE the house!!

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Out of my comfort zone

I am JUMPING out of my comfort zone. I am 1) starting to volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center and, as if that isn't enough, 2) co-leading the 3yo Sunday School class. 

I am SUPER nervous about both things. As in petrified. Both things I have never done before, much less post stroke. I am afraid I won't be able to do things. I am afraid of the unknown. 

It'd be much easier to continue on status quo - but we are called to serve. My service is going to look different, but God will work out the details. I have to constantly remind myself of that. So, please pray as I start these new ventures. I need courage, peace, abilities, creativity...

Saturday, August 6, 2016


"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights." James 1:17

Elijah is an absolute gift from God. Every child is, don't get me wrong, but God knew I would need Elijah. He helps me SO much...and the joy he brings...oh my. He starts kindergarten on the 17th. Man, I'm gonna miss that little boy while he's at school. 

Thursday, July 28, 2016


I had a neurologist appointment in Birmingham (about 3 1/2 hours from home) today. Every time I leave I am just so thankful to God. My neurologist always looks at the scans of my brain right after the stroke and says something to the extent of, "people don't normally live through this." He is always surprised at what all I am doing by myself and (I get the impression) he is not a believer and says that I am an inspiration. 

I can only give God all the credit, and I do to my doctor. How can I be bitter about my situation when I could be dead? God saved my life on October 16, 2012 for a purpose.  Each one of us has a purpose on this earth (if you didn't, you wouldn't be here still). I want to live out my purpose well, what about you?

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Where Was I?

Today, on the Facebook page I monitor for adoptive parents in Alabama, I asked them to share about when their child(ren) was placed with them. It got me thinking about when Elijah was placed with us. I was not even in the same thing country. I was in a rehab hospital. Not exactly how I had envisioned things.  

I had planned to wear Elijah in the Ergo and walk around Moscow as a family. Instead I was was wearing a bib and not walking. Not what I had planned. 

It makes me think of the song "Blessings" by Laura Story. 


We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

This was not what I thought my life would look like. But God knew. He made blessings come out of a mess; putting my priorities in place, my parents moving closer and more time with Elijah to name a few. God allowed it, and doesn't want a hurt to be wasted. 

So, Elijah's placement didn't go as I planned. But it was still planned by the Creator. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2016


Just had to share what I was studying in my quiet time. 

James 1:2-4 NIV
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I will persevere today :)