Glad to be Alive

Just sayin'...

"Lift My Life Up" by Unspoken

You brought me this far
So why would I question you now
You have provided 
So why would I start to doubt
I’ve never been stranded
Abandoned or left here to fight alone hope your leading me home
So I’m giving you control

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way in me
Have your way in me

If peace is a river
Then let it sweep over me
I’m under fire
I know it’s refining me
When I hear you calling out
I follow now wherever the road may go
I know you’re leading me home

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way in me
Have your way in me

Take my life and let it be all for you
Take my life and let it be all for you

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever

All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up
Have your way with me
Have your way with me

Take my life and let it be all for you.

Letting Go

Letting go is hard and I honestly don't exactly know how to do it. How do you get over:

-Not packing/buying last minute thing/traveling to Russia for the last time/spending planned family time as a family of three in Russia/leaving the orphanage with my son/not saying goodbye and thank you to his caregivers and our facilitators/flying with him for his first plane ride/not being home with him on his first night at home...

- Maybe never flying again (because of the possibility of the cavernous malformation bleeding again)

-Maybe having only one child - not by choice.  

- I could go on and on but won't. 

I know that God gives true freedom. I know that God gives true peace. But I also want to be completely honest. This is hard stuff...