I wrote this for something for a friend and thought I’d share...
My story starts back in 2008 when my husband and I tried to start a family. After a year we were given the wonderful diagnosis of infertility. We experienced the many cycles of hope and excitement followed by heart break, disappointment and tears. We underwent surgeries, tests and procedures We also had an early loss miscarriage (this is when you are pregnant but miscarry so early that by the time you know you are pregnant, you’re miscarrying) that was very painful. During our struggles it was VERY painful to see anyone that was pregnant. Pregnant bellies and babies were all reminders of what I didn’t have. I wondered why they could have this seemingly unattainable dream and I couldn’t. Why was it so easy for some and so hard for me?!? Baby showers were too painful to attend. We finally heard those two words, “you’re pregnant”, in 2010, and our due date would be February 19, 2011. My belly starting growing (early because I was taking progesterone), we bought maternity clothes, felt comfortable telling people at the start of the second trimester, and rearranged furniture to finally make that nursery.
At a routine 14 week appointment, they discovered there was no heartbeat. We were absolutely devastated. We scheduled another ultrasound for a week later, with a D&C the following day if there was still no heartbeat. We prayed HARD and we had the deacons at church lay hands on us (something it says to do for healing in the Bible). We were excited about that upcoming ultrasound and just knew God was going to receive so much glory when that baby had a heartbeat again. But that was not how it played out. There was no heartbeat and I had to have that dreaded D&C. The looming due date of February 19 brought me so much pain. My chest tightened when I saw that date as an expiration date for food or when I scheduled things on my calendar around that day. February 19 had a lot of pain associated with it.
We waited the required time and when it was time to try again, really felt like God was telling us to wait. We had prayed during every step and just didn’t feel at peace with continuing anything. So we waited (story of our lives and the namesake of my blog, http://whilewaitingIWillWorship.blogspot.com) Rewind a couple years, I had read a book called “Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches” and told Barry he should read it. I put it on his bedside table and there it sat for several years. Contrary to my personality, I didn’t bug him about reading it. He didn’t want to adopt because he thought it was plan B, and didn’t want his child to feel like a plan B. Fast forward to the waiting period of no infertility treatments, he picked up the book (which God led him to do, not me) and by the end God showed him that adoption was not plan B at all. God was leading us to adopt and it was a perfect plan!
Fast forward again through all the paperwork, fingerprinting, home studies and more tears we were FINALLY in the social workers office in 2012 on the opposite side of the world, about to meet our now 14 month old son. The social worker shows us all of his paperwork, including his birth certificate revealing his birth date. February 19, 2011. Our unfulfilled due date, down to the exact day, month, and year!! Talk about God being in the details. He has received (and will continue to receive) so much more glory with HIS plan than with my plan. If I had gotten my way, I would not have received SO many of God’s blessings. I could not possibly imagine my life without my son! God took what once was such a painful date and COMPLETELY redeemed it. I wish I had really trusted that God was always in control. It would have saved me many tears!
