Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Update...

I have started (within the last couple of months) to have terrible muscle spasms on my right side, especially in my arm. Over the course of many months I have tried four medications, many of which have pretty serious side effects, with no luck. Muscle spasms/tremors remain.

We went to see a new neurologist today, just for another opinion (because the other neurologist basically said we were out of options) and, while being shocked at my medical records, at least gave us some hope in a new medication.

Please join me in prayer that this new medication will work and that there won't be any side effects!! I am so sick of shaking...it effects my balance, coordination...I punch people all the time :) ...I'm just so tired of it (to put it mildly). Thanks ahead of time for the prayers!!

And again, just because I can...





Sunday, May 26, 2013

"Even If"

I write this not to say that I won't heal...who knows what the future holds...but even in the midst of the suffering I will still worship Him for who He is.

"Even If" by Kutless

Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are
And we trust in who You are

Even if the healing doesn't come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn't come

Lord we know your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us
We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are

You're still the Great and Mighty One
We trust You always
You're working all things for our good
We'll sing your praise

You are God and we will bless You
As the Good and Faithful One
You are God and we will bless You
Even if the healing doesn't come
Even if the healing doesn't come

Sunday, May 12, 2013

My "First" Mother's Day

Mother's Day...bittersweet...

While it is my first with my child in my arms, it really isn't my first. Last year we had already accepted a referral and were almost on our way to meet our son and the year before that I was pregnant. This year, my baby is in my arms, but that doesn't take away the pain.

I ache for those women that aren't yet mothers but desire to be. I ache for those women that have lost babies. I ache for those women that have lost mothers, grandmothers, etc. I ache for those women who have placed their children for adoption. I ache for those women that don't have good relationships with their mothers. I ache for the children that don't have mother to celebrate with.

Please remember that it is not a joyous day for everyone. Please be careful with your comments. You never know what people may be experiencing.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Eye Surgery Update

Delayed update...eye surgery went well. I still have double vision, but it's much better (the images used to be diagonal and now they are vertical and much closer together). Side note: The doctor even came and prayed with us before surgery. Very impressive, and what a blessing! Therapy at the new place is going well. I finally start OT tomorrow, so now I will be back to doing all three disciplines each week (physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy). On a happy note, we just booked the condo for Elijah's first trip to the beach in July. We bought him the cutest swimsuit tonight! That's all for now, it's bedtime.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Eye Surgery

My eye surgery is tomorrow morning! Yea! Please pray that everything goes smoothly, that the surgery will be effective, etc. Prayerfully next time I post it will be much faster. Granted it will still be.shaky left handed... But prayerfully I'll be able to wear my contacts and there will only be one set of words..

And just because.,.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

"Need You Now" by Plumb

Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
'Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out "God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise

How many times have you heard me cry out God please take this?
How many times have you given me strength to Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you God, I need you now.

Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take

How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?

How many times have you heard me cry out "God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

I need you now
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
I need you now

Listen here...http://m.godtube.com/watch/?v=W7D7ZLNX

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Bible Verse For the Day

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (Psalm 139:13-16 NIV)

Thursday, March 21, 2013

"Already There" by Casting Crowns

"Already There" by Casting Crowns

From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

Oh, oh

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

Oh, oh, oh, oh

From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

You are already there

Listen here http://youtu.be/s099Omqw1_E

I'm Still Here

Well, I think I set a record for time between posts (not counting the Already There lyrics). We are staying VERY busy with therapy and, you know, this little thing called a two year old. It's really shocking how much time recovery takes out of the day.

I'm still doing rehab. I have been at the same place (HealthSouth) since October but recently (as of Wednesday) changed locations (SAMC Therapy Services - the Neurologist recommended pool/water/aqua therapy which HealthSouth no longer has). It was (is) a difficult transition but I think it will be good for a change. New therapists, new equipment...

Let's see...I'm finally having eye surgery to hopefully correct severely double vision and it will prayerfully help the strabismus (shaky vision) on April 12th. (They won't do the surgery for the first 6 months.)

I'm still in a wheelchair but can walk unassisted with a walker, it just looks rough and isn't very efficient. My right arm and hand are gimpy - lots of tone. My speech is still slurred. I now have seizures (small ones that were only detected on an EEG, nothing that I even knew was happening, but I'm trusting that my neurologist knows what she's talking about) so I'm on medication for that. I still can't feel my right side and my left side is still jumpy.

But I'm alive!! We've seen huge improvements since the beginning, just slow progress lately. It's not easy, I'm not gonna lie, but I am thankful to be alive.

Elijah is adjusting well. It's taking him a longer time to attach/bond with me but we've recently seen great strides. I've been able to do more and more for him lately, such as getting him out of his highchair and crib, playing with him on the floor, etc. I'm still his Mommy even though I have some limitations right now. He's grown taller but is having a tough time putting on weight. The boy does not slow down!! He had his 2nd birthday in February.

Um...that's it in a nutshell. That took me like 2 hours to type so it may be a couple more months before you get another update. Don't be alarmed. :) I will leave you with pictures of my cutie.







Thursday, January 3, 2013

Final Trip to Russia

On November 13th, I (Barry) travelled with Lisa’s parents back to Russia after a very hectic and busy 30 day waiting period (see previous post).  It was very hard to have to go back without Lisa after looking forward to making the trip together for so long leading up to it, but I knew I had to get our son home no matter what.  After flying for a full day and losing 10 hours we arrived in Volgograd EARLY in the morning (middle of the night) on the 15th.  Based on our court decree we could pick up Elijah on the 16th, so we intentionally set up our flights to be there early enough to be able to visit him one day before taking him away from all he has ever known to hopefully ease the transition for him a little. 

The first hurdle we ran into once we arrived in Russia was that only 3 of our 5 suitcases actually made it to Volgograd with us, and one of the missing ones was Elijah’s, which had all of his clothes (except one outfit, since I did think about this possibility) and all the scarves that my mom hand made for gifts to give the caregivers at the orphanage and the workers that would be helping us.  Fortunately the two missing suitcases made it the next afternoon, so we had all we needed to go pick him up the next morning…so I thought.  As I was going through the clothes to prepare for the exciting morning ahead, I realized that the brand new snow suit we had bought Elijah a couple months before (it was in the 30s in Volgograd, and they bundle up the kids even when it is like 60 outside, so not having a snow suit was out of the question) was not in his suitcase.  After checking and double checking all of our suitcases, I had to accept the fact that it had been taken from the suitcase at some point while it was ‘lost’.  Soooo, we went out and bought a new snow suit at a place near our hotel, and once again I was ready to pick up our son the following morning.

Hurdle two came the next morning, and it was a big one.  We were getting ready, anxiously waiting for a phone call in the hotel room from our coordinator to let us know when she would be there to pick us up to go to the orphanage.  The phone rang and it was her, but she didn’t seem happy.  She said, “I have bad news, can you come down to the lobby?”.  We went down, and she said that the judge who had to sign the decree that day allowing us to get the documentation necessary to pick up Elijah, was sick, and there was nothing we could do until Tuesday! (This was Friday)  What a shock!  All of a sudden instead of getting to have my son in my arms for good within a couple of hours, it was going to be four days of waiting around.  Not to mention that we were scheduled to fly to Moscow on Tuesday evening because it was supposed to take a few days to process his passport information in Volgograd.  It was a hard four days, but we got to visit him each day except Sunday. 

Tuesday finally arrived and it was absolutely crazy.  Our coordinator and translator managed to get everything that was supposed to take 3 days done in a matter of a few hours (it did involve me having to pay the passport office lady an ‘expidition fee’ to get it done in the same day, which I was assured was normal in Russia).

We picked up Elijah a little after lunchtime, and even though it was hard thinking about him leaving all that he knows, it was the best feeling in the world to walk out of the orphanage gate with him, knowing that he would never have to sleep at the orphanage again. 

This is us leaving the orphanage!

DSC_0118

We made our flight to Moscow just a couple hours after we picked him up, and everything there went much more smoothly.  He was a great flyer, and despite only sleeping about 1.5 hours of the 10 hour flight back to NYC, overall he did fine. 

Just when I thought we were in the clear and finally on US soil, hurdle #3 happened.  We only had a one hour layover in JFK airport, and we were going to have to go through immigration (with someone that we hadn’t left with), get our bags at baggage claim, go to another terminal in a separate building, recheck our bags, go back through security, and catch our flight.  Hard enough even if you aren’t in the worst airport in the world to navigate (seriously I don’t know how anyone who doesn’t speak English would ever get where they needed to go in JFK, because it was hard for us and we can read what few signs there are).  Anyway, we got split up in immigration because I had Elijah, so Lisa’s dad took all of our carryons with him, so I could carry Elijah through.  He just handed me mine and Elijah’s passports out of my backpack and went through another line.  When I gave the already disgruntled looking agent our passports and the packet of documents I was told to present when we entered the US, he flipped them open and his only words to me were, “Where is she?”.  I was at a loss for words, “What?” I asked, confused.  “Where is she,” he said as he flipped Lisa’s passport around and showed me her picture.  Lisa’s dad had handed me Lisa’s passport instead of mine (we had them both in the same bag with all our other important travel documents, and had left hers in there in case it was needed with me travelling without her).  So there I was at border control, with a Russian child, and someone elses passport…and not mine.  He seemed very angry, and when Lisa’s mom saw what was going on, and brought me my passport from the other side of the gate, it only made things worse, because then he said “why does this lady have your passport??”.  Even though I explained the situation, he said, “I can’t say that you’ve officially done anything wrong, but it’s protocol that we report all occurrences like this, so please come with me.” Great…now we’ve already burned half of the time we have to catch our flight, and I have to go to some back room and explain why I have someone else’s passport.  After another 10 minutes of hearing me talked about in third person among the guards, I got Lisa’s passport back, and we were on our way.  The flight was already boarding by the time we got to our gate, and we walked straight on and then it was on to Atlanta, and then to Dothan.  Elijah slept from the time the wheels left the ground at JFK until we got home.

We got back to Dothan on November 24th, and went straight to Healthsouth to see Mommy before we even went home.  We brought Lisa home the next day and we have been a family of three at home ever since.  It has been quite an adjustment for all of us trying to figure out the logistics of Elijah’s schedule and working out how we get everything done that we have to around the house with Lisa’s condition as well, and me returning to work.  Our families have been great about helping us, while maintaining enough distance so that Elijah can get attached to us.