National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month! In honor of National Adoption Month I thought I would post a poem that has meant a lot to many of the families that I work with. I have a ton of them, but this is one of my favorites.

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women, who never knew each other.

One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.

Two different lives shaped to make you one.

One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

The first one gave you life. The second one taught you to live it.

The first one gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.

One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.

One sought for you a home she could not provide.

The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.

And now you ask me through your tears,

The age old question unanswered through the years.

Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?

Neither my darling, neither,

Just two different kinds of love.

~Author unknown

I hope you adoptive parents out there enjoy it!

Part of my job is recruiting adoptive parents for the waiting children in Alabama. Nationally, there are 510,000 children currently in foster care, 129,000 of whom are waiting for permanent families. Just in Alabama (Sorry, I don’t know other states statistics) there are almost 300 children waiting to be adopted! These are children who have had termination of parental rights and for whatever reason their foster parents are not willing or able to adopt. 300 children living in foster care or a group home waiting for their forever family!! These are primarily older children – African American children ages 2 and older, children of all other races 8 and older, also sibling groups that are going to be placed together and any child who has special needs. The slogan for National Adoption Month is “Answering the Call: You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be A Perfect Parent.” If you are interested in finding out more about foster care adoption check out the following websites…

www.adoptuskids.org

www.davethomasfoundation.org

HAPPY NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH!!

The Journey

I just wanted to share something from a blog I read today.  Beth, from Walking the Journey, wrote a beautiful letter to all waiting mothers and I wanted to share a couple of things that really spoke to me.

“Your joy is just around the corner, and that the wait- well the wait is worth it and the journey- the journey is what makes the joy that much sweeter!”

“There will come a point where you look back over your journey and you will be at peace with every step, every tear, and every loss. You will still grieve, it will still hurt, and the scar will remain but the joy you will have will heal in a way that is beyond comprehension. I just want you to know that the journey will be worth it, I can promise you that your joy will come in the morning and although there seems to be no end to the darkness in sight, it will end.”

I like what she said a lot…as hard as this journey is, think about how much we will appreciate the joy that comes at the end!  The journey is part of what will make finally having a child in our arms that much better/sweeter/special/amazing!  We will really be able to understand that this blessing is from the Lord and from the Lord only.  He knew what He was doing all along! :)

Explanation of RE...

I have had several people ask me what an RE is from my previous post...sorry, I forget that that is not a common term in most people's vocabulary! Sad that it has become such a familiar term in mine that I didn't even think to define it. Anyway...RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist = AKA Infertility Doctor.

Hope that helps! :)

Bible verse for the day

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  

-- Matthew 11:28-30

RE here we come!

I have mentioned in previous posts that my OBGYN is the only Dr. that has been “treating” our infertility…well him and the Urologist.  Last time I had an appointment with him I had asked if there were any other tests we could run and he told us to just wait…wait…wait.  Well I waited 2 more cycles and decided to get a second opinion.  The thing with the second opinion is that the nearest RE is in Mobile, which is between 3-4 hours away.  So not very convenient.  But for our own peace of mind we decided to go ahead and make an appointment.

So, December 3rd we are road tripping to Mobile.  The doctor we will be seeing works with my OBGYN clinic, and makes visits to Dothan every 6 weeks.  Any monitoring would be done in Dothan, any procedures would be done in Mobile.  So, not ideal, but the best we can get.  (How oh how am I living somewhere too small to even have an RE??  I do love Dothan, but I DEFINITELY miss bigger cities when it comes to things like this!!)  Thanks Becky for the recommendation of the clinic! 

I am excited about it and yet bummed about it at the same time.  Glad to be getting a second opinion, bummed that we have to be getting a second opinion. It just makes me wonder how long this next leg of the journey will take. 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord.  “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

God always knew we would be making this trip.  He always knew that we would be seeing an RE on December 3rd - it is all part of His plan.  He has gone ahead of us and knows exactly what we will hear and exactly what will come out of the appointment.  I am SOOO glad that the Lord has a much bigger plan for our lives than I can see right now!

You have blessed my life

I really appreciate everyone’s comments yesterday!  I love knowing that I am not the only one that gets upset over seemingly little things, avoids Facebook sometimes and often wants to be alone.  This blog and the friends I have made through it are priceless!  Thanks girls!

In light of that and all of my in person friends and family (well in person and on the phone) that I love dearly, I heard this song the other day and thought of many of you.  You know who you are…

 

“More Than You’ll Ever Know” by Watermark

Something brought you to my mind today
I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh
And yet I feel like it's okay to cry with you
Something about just being with you
When I leave I feel like I've been near God
And that's the way it ought to be...

CHORUS:
'Cause you've been more than a friend to me
You fight off my enemies
'Cause you've spoken the Truth over my life
And you'll never know what it means to me
Just to know you've been on your knees for me
Oh, you have blessed my life
More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah
More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah

You had faith, when I had none
You prayed God would bring me a brand new song
When I didn't think I could find the strength to sing
And all the while I'm hoping that I'll
Do the kind of praying for you that you've done for me
And that's the way it ought to be...

You have carried me
You have taken upon a burden that wasn't your own
And may the blessing return to you
A hundredfold, oh yeah...
A hundredfold, oh yeah...

 

I am so blessed to have all of the friends and family that I have.  The Lord has really provided me with a great support network of both friends who are walking their own walk of infertility and many that are walking with me through mine.  You will never know how much the prayers and support from each of you means to me.  It is such an awesome feeling to know that there are people praying for me and Barry and our future little one(s)!  The Lord is using each of you in my life in a special way.  Thank you!!

Life in a bubble would be good

I have decided that I would like to live in a bubble secluded from the rest of the world. OK, not really…but a part of me does. Let me explain…

If I was walking this journey without people’s ignorant comments, without watching others who are pregnant around me, without hearing friends announce that they are pregnant, I could do it. I would still be extremely upset at the end of each cycle, don’t get me wrong, but it would be much easier. I am happy with our lives – I like being able to travel, I like being able to sleep in, I like spending quality time with my husband. But I would give those things up in a millisecond to become a mother. However, I can trust the Lord that His timing is perfect much better when I don’t see other people who God is allowing to be on a different timeline. Am I making any sense?

I can handle this infertility stuff until these things are shoved in my face…and I know they aren’t REALLY shoved in my face, but they sure feel that way. Yesterday it was a friend’s Facebook status. It was so not a huge deal, but her status comment about her pregnancy really irked me. It was not meant that way but it upset me. She knows that we are struggling with infertility and still updates her status with pregnancy stuff a lot. To me it would be like knowing your friend was having major financial difficulties, had lost their job, was about to foreclose on their house and my status being “I still can’t believe I won the lottery! Man, I am having fun spending all this money!” Wouldn’t that hurt your friend? Wouldn’t you think twice before rubbing that in their face? I know the world doesn’t revolve around me and I don’t want all of my friends having to think before they speak or before they status update…but being honest, it did bother me.

I decided I wanted to go run…I get this urge sometimes. And I am sadly not a runner. But sometimes I just want to run. So I tried. However my asthmatic lungs were really not very happy with me. I ran my little heart out for maybe 2 minutes and then thought I might die and had to walk the rest of the time. This only made me more upset because the one thing I wanted to do right then– run – my body was failing me with. Just like infertility, I feel like my body is failing me. So this awesome revelation brought me to tears. Here I was now walking/running through my neighborhood (which is well lit by the way and I was running around 5pm so there were people around) with tears streaming down my face, sniffling like crazy and gasping for air. I am sure it was a lovely lovely sight.

I know the Lord is helping me get through experiencing infertility under the influence of the rest of the world. I couldn’t do it without Him. But He is doing more that just getting me through it, He is USING it to witness to others, He is USING it to form me into His image. If I was in a bubble I would be missing out on using infertility for His purposes. I would be missing out on His blessings.

I know all of this but it is still so difficult some days. I want to just delete my Facebook account, not answer my phone and never leave home. But I know this is not the Lord’s plan for my life. So I trudge on…praying, trusting, praying and trusting. Thanking God that I don’t live in that secluded bubble after all.

Trick-or-treat

Our neighborhood was overrun with trick-or-treaters yesterday!!  The houses in our neighborhood and fairly close together, there are sidewalks on both sides of the streets, it is well lit – the conditions are perfect for trick-or-treating!  :)  Because of this, people in our neighborhood just sit out on our porches and hand out candy all night.  There was even a police barricade this year that stopped every car coming into the neighborhood.  All guests had to park in a parking lot right outside of the neighborhood and walk in.  It was absolutely crazy but so much fun!  Here are a couple of pictures…

Us with our very last minute costumes…Barry was a doctor and I was the patient.  We got asked a million times “Are you really a doctor?” “Do you have a boo-boo?”  “Are you hurt?”  “Are you playing doctor?”  So apparently it was not clear that they were COSTUMES.  Oh well, we had fun.  :)

A view of our driveway and the million trick-or-treaters overtaking it! 

Done for another year!  Now on to thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas!!  How crazy is that!?!