Friday, April 9, 2010

The Stressful Massage

Sound like an oxymoron?  I had my massage this afternoon…I have been looking forward to it for forever.  I can’t justify getting a massage very often, it is just so blasted expensive, but man do I love them!!!  The only time I actually go is when I am given a gift certificate.  This one was given to me by my wonderful hubby for Valentine’s Day and I have been waiting to use it until I really needed it.  I scheduled this a couple of weeks ago strategically for this weekend because I have gotten into the swing of GPS classes and am not too stressed about them anymore, I had to work several Saturdays and now those are over with for now, etc. etc.  So I thought this would be a good way to end the stressful events of the past few weeks.  All that to say….I was SO SO looking forward to this massage.  I blocked off the whole afternoon so I could just relax afterwards and was totally ready to veg for an hour while I got the massage.  I love that feeling during a massage when you are almost drooling (OK something I do a little) and getting tingles all over and just completely and utterly relaxed.

HOWEVER, my masseuse had other plans for me.  She talked to me the ENTIRE time…and not just a one sided conversation, she was asking me a ton of questions and the best part…she talked all about her pregnancy, asking when we were going to have kids, talked about all of her friends that have infertility problems and how she would gladly give them one of her eggs because she has good eggs.  Now, she wouldn’t have sex with her friends husbands but she would give them her eggs….seriously.  The conversation went on and on like this.  Me trying to politely give her short answers to put the conversation to an end but to no avail.  I even got to hear about her aura and how her mom can read auras and was able to tell the sex of her baby while she was pregnant.  It got to the point where it was quite comical.  Here I am trying to relax and take my mind off of work and infertility and I get another earful of pregnancy talk!  Completely the opposite of relaxing!!

Then I get back home and my neighbor asks me how the pregnancy was going.  Huh?  She was really just getting at how the attempts were coming but she confused me at first.  This is where it backfires on you when you let people know you are TTC.  People mean well but hearing “it will happen soon enough” or “it will happen in God’s timing” or “are you guys pregnant yet?”  or “"just relax and it will happen” - SO not helpful.  I just have to put on a smile and change the conversation but those are NOT helpful things to talk to an infertile about.  I KNOW it will happen in God’s timing but when people tell me that it is so annoying.  It’s not a helpful reminder, it really just makes me feel like they are blowing off my feelings.  I REALIZE that it will happen in God’s timing but that doesn’t mean that every day that is not His timing isn’t painful!  Just tell me “I am so sorry you are going through this.”  That’s all I need to hear.

Anywho, it was still a good afternoon even with all of the pregnancy talk.  Shows me that I have come a long way in this here journey!


  1. Oh no! How disappointing this must have been. I had a similar experience once when I was having a facial. It was awful, she talked the whole time, asked me if we had children, and then went on to say all kinds of insensitive things. I wanted to complain to the manager, but I was at the spa with a group of friends to celebrate one of their birthdays so I didn't want to upset my friend.

    I do wish people would understand that less is more when it comes to what to say. So sorry you are having to deal with insensitive comments.

    The Lord has put you on my heart a lot lately and I continue to pray for healing regarding your loss.

  2. I'm so sorry!! That is awful!! You would really think she would know better than that but I guess not. I mean...does anyone want to talk during a massage? I know I wouldn't!

  3. WOW, I am so sorry! I can't believe the masseuse talked the whole time?! That is unbelievable! I am so proud of how you handled the afternoon- God's grace is amazing, isn't it?!

  4. Lisa,
    “I am so sorry you are going through this.”
    Love you.

  5. That totally sucks! I don't like to talk at all during massages! I want to be in that half asleep mode. And for the price that these places charge for massages, they should be professional and QUIET! :) If that were me I probably would have called later to talk to the office manager. Because if she did that to you, then she's probably ruining a lot of other people's relaxing time. Anyway, good job handling it! It totally sucks what you are going thru! And I completely understand not wanting to hear about other people's pregnancy or eggs:)!!!

  6. so sorry that your time to relax was tainted by talk of the things you wanted to escape from!! i understand about just wanting to hear "i'm sorry you're going through this". we (christian girls dealing with infertility) know that God has a plan, but it doesn't take away the anguish of walking the journey. i'm glad that you've seen growth in your life through the journey, however. i have to believe that the reason God allows us to walk this road is because He has something great to do in and through's not in vain.