Friday, January 20, 2012

Adoption and Birth Mothers

Do any of you watch Parenthood? I love that show. Never watched it until this season, but I love it now! of the story lines involves a couple who struggle with infertility. They are in the process of adopting and actually have a relationship with the pregnant birth mother. She is getting further along in her pregnancy and the show is doing a good job of showing how difficult this process is for the birth mother. She keeps talking about how she knew this would be hard but never imagined how difficult it really would be. Can you imagine? Spending 9 months with a child growing inside of you, feeling their movements...seeing their face after giving birth and then never seeing them again. Never knowing what happened to your child...(Now, some birth parents do have contact with their children after adoption, but with international adoption and other closed adoptions that is not the case.)

It has me thinking a lot about our child's birth mother. We will more than likely never meet her, nor know all that much about her, but I can't imagine how hard it is on her for her baby to be placed in an orphanage. What caused her to do it? Is she single? (Single mothers are still very much looked down upon in many parts of the world.) Are finances the issue? Are her parents forcing her to do it? Is she married with other children and can't take care of another one?

Regardless of the "why" I'm sure it still can't be easy. I'm sure she will always wonder what happened to her child. If he or she is loved...taken care of...happy...

I just pray that the Holy Spirit will wrap her in His arms. That she will come to know Him as her Savior, if she doesn't already. That she will know that her baby is loved.


  1. My mom had put her last baby up for adoption. I always ask to hear the story about it. cause me and my brother was in diapers still and my sister just got out of diapers. She tells me she could'nt afford her at the time. On the day she was born it was a bad blizzard, but the adoptive parents came anyways. So we know she was very loved. My mom use to get pictures of her when she was little. She had a picture of her at age 4 and Jenna looked just like me when i was 4. i have always wanted to contact her, but never gotten around to do it. Also my mom never saw jenna, but my aunt Wanda held her and said im your aunt, this will be the first and last time i will see you. My mom never regretted her decision, she knew God was in control and she would be loved!

  2. I wonder the same thing often about the birth mother of my girls. I can't imagine how she feels or deals with the loss. I pray that they will come to know Him as their Savior also.

  3. That is so sweet you think about the birth mother and her feelings. I hope she finds peace with her decision and somehow knows her selfless decision has allowed her baby to find a set of parents that are wonderful and will care, love and raise her baby superbly!

  4. Hi Lisa - we are working with an Open Adoption agency...and boy has learning about open adoption philosophies/practices opened my eyes. I, too, was really pleased to see this storyline in Parenthood that is(probably) the most accurate depiction of an open adoption I've ever seen on TV (well, most situations, at least in our agency, don't include a live-in birthmother, but many private adoptions might).

    Anyhow - I think that raising awareness for the birthfamily side of the equation is super important, so thanks for sharing!