But it is so hard to know what the Lord’s will is!!! I talked with the nurse at my RE’s office and she said that every single hormone level came back normal. Boo on normal hormone levels…I mean, it would be great to have normal hormone levels if that was allowing us to get pregnant, but that obviously has not been working for us, so normal hormone levels are not my friend. I would much rather something be off a little so we know what to do…now the only thing to do is to try and “fix” stuff when the Dr. doesn’t even know what to “fix”.
The nurse said that he reviewed my lab results and is recommending we start on Clomid. We have a phone consultation with him this Thursday (really cool that we can do a phone consultation since he is so far away!) so we can discuss everything with him. But at least I know what he is thinking before talking to him so we have time to think and pray about it ourselves.
Fertility treatments are something that I have struggled with from the very beginning. I have such mixed opinions of them. OBVIOUSLY they can work and give infertile couples the chance to have biological children that they would not be able to have without those treatments. And I don’t have a moral argument against most of the treatments. My issue is that if God can make a virgin pregnant than He can make me pregnant without fertility treatments if it is His will for me to be pregnant. Thinking about it this way it seems like infertility treatments are taking matters into our own hands and not waiting for the Lord to provide.
HOWEVER, if I was diagnosed with cancer I would not just wait around for the Lord to cure me. I would have radiation, chemotherapy, and whatever else that the Dr. recommended – things that the medical world has discovered to help cancer patients. I do believe that the Lord has allowed advances in technology so that we do have options when faced with illness. So in that light, it makes my argument against just waiting for the Lord shaky. He CAN work THROUGH medical treatments to accomplish His will… If He has allowed advances in the medical field of infertility, why not try them as long as they are in line with scripture?
My next thought on infertility treatments is when do you stop. Hopefully the first month you try a new treatment you will get pregnant, but this is not at all a guarantee. There are people (many of you out there) that have been doing infertility treatment for YEARS without success. At what point are we not being good stewards of our money when we spend thousands of dollars on infertility treatments when that money could have gone towards adopting a child that doesn’t have a mommy and a daddy? Once you get started with some form of infertility treatment, if that doesn’t work you move on to something stronger and then if that doesn’t work you move on again and soon it has been years and you have spent thousands of dollars. But if you don’t TRY some of these treatments and you don’t get pregnant on your own will you regret not trying? I definitely think I would…
Please don’t interpret ANY of this as accusatory, I am just trying to get my thoughts out and work through these issues for the Williams family. I believe that every couple is different and that the Lord has different plans for each one of us. So the conclusions that we come to are going to be different than the next couple.
But another thing to complicate matters is -- I WANT A BABY! Right now I feel fine with starting Clomid but is that my flesh speaking or is the Lord giving me a peace about it because it is His will? Infertility causes us to be so vulnerable and our flesh could easily do a lot of the decision making. But how do I KNOW the Lord wants me to start Clomid and that’s not my flesh? What if He wants me to wait just one more month…What is He wants to show His power by getting us pregnant without treatment? I know that regardless of what infertility treatments one might be on, ONLY ONE CAN CREATE LIFE! Only the Lord can create life, regardless of IUI, medications, IVF, etc. So I know that if we start infertility treatments and it is not the Lord’s will for us to get pregnant that way, then we won’t get pregnant that way. I really would like for the Lord to tell us what to do through some flashing neon signs right about now. That would be great…
Sorry for the incredibly long post, I just needed to get some things off my chest and help me process everything. I am sure most of you out there who have been faced with this issue have had some of these same thoughts too. It is definitely something to work through, pray through and figure out what the Lord’s will is for each individual.
SOOOO, right now we are praying about what the Lord wants us to do!!