Rambling thoughts…

I have some thoughts on my mind so I thought I would express them…not sure if I am making a point here, just expressing what’s going on in my head…

I believe that bad things happen (infertility, death, natural disasters, etc.) because we live in a fallen world. This was not the way that God designed things to be, but because every single one of us is sinful, bad things do happen.  If the sin, sickness, death and natural disasters sadden us - just imagine how the CREATOR feels!  Seeing His creation hurting saddens Him too!!  However, I believe that EVERYTHING that happens to us passes through God's hands first.  We may not understand WHY He allows things to pass through His hands, but the point is is that He does.  I believe that He can work in and through my life during the good times AND the bad times. I believe that through my infertility He is forming me to look more like Him, He is giving me a platform to reach out to others, He is strengthening my relationship with Him and on and on I could go. I don't believe He CAUSED the infertility in my life, but I DO believe that there is a reason that he ALLOWED it to come into my life.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Rom. 8:28) This doesn't mean that only good things will happen in my life, but that God will work through those things for HIS good and for HIS glory.  It’s because of this truth that I can get through each day on this journey.

Lately I have just felt…saddened at how many people are going through this life without the belief that God’s hand is on their life.  I can’t imagine fighting this infertility battle without the complete confidence that God is 100% in control.  Life is not easy even with that belief, but that is why I can be at peace with where I am.  I am at peace because God is here with me.  He is making this infertility have a PURPOSE.  As I was driving thinking about all of this the following song came on…

“God of This City” by Chris Tomlin

You're the God of this City
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are

You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless
You are
There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City

 

It made me think 2 things…

1) He is THE LIGHT, THE HOPE, and THE PEACE!!!  There is no one and nothing else that can bring those things to your life.  ONLY THE LORD!!!  He is here to rescue us from the darkness, to give us hope and to bring us peace!!  What amazing truths!!

2) With all my being I want this infertility journey to end Friday morning when I get that blood work.  Oh how I do.  However, if that isn’t the Lord’s plan then “greater things are yet to come.”  I don’t completely know how He will use me but I want to be used.  You never know how something that you do or say can effect someone else.  In Sunday School we were talking about a man who had everything material but just wasn’t satisfied with life.  One day he looked out his window and say the mailman praying over his lunch of a sandwich and coke.  At that moment he knew there was more to life, He had everything but didn’t have anyone to be thankful TO.  He became saved and later became a missionary (preacher? I forget…).  My point, is that you never know how and when God is going to use you. That mailman never knew that praying over his lunch would lead a man to the Lord!!  If this infertility journey isn't over, then He isn’t done with me in this stage of my life yet.  He can and will still use me once we get pregnant (positive thinking) but if that isn’t now then He has a purpose for me that involves still being in this place.  I want to be where He wants me to be so hopefully He can use me to lead people to Him.  I want my infertility battle to be over with but more than I want that I want to see other’s come to know Him.  And if that means staying here awhile longer, then here I am Lord!  Use me!