Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Bleh

I feel…bleh. I am not sure how to put it into words exactly…just unsettled and like a part of me is missing. Because it is. Ever since seeing Elijah’s sweet little face I have fallen in love with that boy. Having part of you, part of your heart, half way across the world and not having any idea when you get to be reunited with that part of you is pretty terrible. There isn’t an hour that goes by, sometimes not a minute, that I am not thinking about him and praying for him.

It’s hard not having any kind of update. We were told that our facilitator in Russia was able to get some updated pictures and medical information (he was scheduled to have his big medical appointments and vaccinations in June) but we have yet to see it. It’s been two months since we left him and we know zero about how those two months have been for him. How much has he grown? Is he walking now? Is he talking? Is he chewing solid foods yet? Is he still in the same room with the same caregivers or has he been moved? Has he been sick? Is he happy? What does he look like now?

I KNOW that God is holding him in the palm of His hand and I know that God knows what our little boy has been doing for every second of these past two months…but I am ready to know too. :) I am so beyond ready to be back in Russia with him…

4 comments:

  1. I will keep your little boy and you in our prayers. Saw this quote online today, "You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it." You'll make it through this and your little boy will be so worth the wait.

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  2. The not knowing, the uncertainty, the waiting on an update - all so very hard. Sending you a hug and sending up prayers for you and your sweet boy.

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  3. My heart ached when you mentioned that a part of your heart was so far away. "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Elizabeth Stone
    I was reminded of that quote when you said that. I know this waiting period must be VERY hard, I can't even imagine, but I am praying for you and I am so happy that God has created this little boy, and you to be his Mommy. I feel so overjoyed just knowing that soon he will be with you forever. Keeping Elijah, and you and Barry, in prayer.

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  4. Praying for you to get little E very soon! How hard to be away from him after you've met him and love him so VERY, VERY much!

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