Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Ups and downs

Barry and I went to Atlanta, GA this past weekend and had so much fun...until the last day, more on that to come. I love big cities so I always get excited to go somewhere larger than Dothan, AL. And I always like Atlanta, although I wouldn't want to live in that big city. We stayed in Columbus, GA for a night on the way up in an old corn mill that has been converted into a nice hotel. It is located in the historic district on the river with cobblestone streets...very fun little place. Then we headed up to ATL and went to the Georgia Aquarium, Centennial Park, CNN Center, Underground Atlanta (which I do not recommend), watched lots of college football, got lots of sleep, ate tons of great food and spent some good quality time together. Our hotel in ATL was in walking distance of everything so we never even moved our car the whole weekend. I really really enjoy being able to walk everywhere in a city and love looking out my hotel room window at night and seeing all the city lights...ahhhh. Here is a small sampling of some of the fun we had...

Here we are with our street! I am a dork when it comes to taking pictures and enjoy this sort of thing. We asked one lady to take our picture and she said no! I have never had anyone tell me no before...that was not southern hospitality! :)

The two of us in Centennial Park...we are kind of small...sorry...

Barry with a huge crab at the Georgia Aquarium! It is the largest aquarium, I think in the world. Makes me hungry for some crab legs...

Me looking very serious playing "Deal or No Deal" at Dave and Busters! No deal Howey! It was a lot of fun...and Roll Tide by the way.

A little side note...in case anyone was wondering, I have decided that blogger and I are not friends when it comes to uploading pictures...

On one of our walks we ran into a homeless woman (well we ran into a LOT of homeless women, but this one in particular sticks out in my mind.) She was pregnant and asked us for food and money saying that she gets all of her food from going through trash cans. She was pretty abrasive and not the friendliest person I have ever met. My thought process went like this...avoid her (after already passing 50 homeless people who had been asking for money...it's so hard though because the Bible says, "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40, and yet you can't give everyone money or we would have been broke. That is a whole different topic...) Anyway back to my thought process, as soon as I saw her belly I think...crap she's pregnant, that poor baby, that poor woman, how in the world is she able to get pregnant and we can't? I can't get her out of my mind. I have no idea how she got to be in the place that she is and it is not my place to judge...but I can't help feeling angry at her that she would be sleeping around when she has nothing to provide for this child!! But that thought right there is judging her because she might not have been sleeping around, it could have been out of her control, I have no idea. I also feel sad for her because I don't think any birth mother would WANT to be in that situation. That poor baby is not getting the nutrients that it needs, plus it is living under constant stress and what kind of future does that child have in store for it? What is going to happen once she has the baby? How will she feed the child? How will the child have a place to lay their head? How will she provide safety for the child? The child will probably end of being another person living on the streets. Maybe the state will find out and place the child in foster care...now another child is in the system. I have been praying for that lady and her baby every time I think about them.

I hear about this type of thing every day in my job (I work for a non-profit that provides support to adoptive and foster families) but seeing it firsthand was heartbreaking for me, in more ways than one. I am heartbroken for that woman and her unborn child...heartbroken for myself and all of my other friends who are struggling to have a child, and this lady can?!? Here we all are able to provide a loving, stable home for a child and yet we can't. And here is another child being born into a world that is not able to provide those things for it. I just can't wrap my mind around it. I know the Lord is in control, but...this one is hard for me.

Then the last day of our trip my period came...early...so at first I thought maybe implantation bleeding...but not so much. What a great way to end the weekend. And the awful cramps are just a constant reminder that another month has passed by. I just want to crawl in bed and stay there, but life must go on. Work must be accomplished. Laundry must be done. Meals must be cooked. I try so hard to be optimistic and to trust God with His timing, but days like this I just want it to be all over with. I am thankful that I have learned everything that I have through infertility, but I want to be done with it. I want to leave this place in my life and move on. But apparently that is not the Lord's will yet. I just feel very bummy and blah and cry-y. It is just a "Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" to quote the children's book by Judith Viorst.
"Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5b


  1. That is so true- joy comes in the morning, and God's mercies are new each day!!! It is really hard to remind myself of that on hard days, though.

    Did you read my comment on your last post? I gave you an award that is very fun to do!! Maybe it will lift your spirits :)

  2. So sorry - I feel like I could have written the last paragraph, I am right there with you. Even though I know it is almost impossible in our case for pregnancy to occur, it is still hard when the final confirmation comes - mine was Monday.

    It is so hard to see those situations where you wonder why we can't conceive and someone else in a terrible situation can. I have found praying for those involved just as you did to be my single greatest weapon against bitterness. Sometimes other people will bring up these type of situations to me, but I try not to even think about them, otherwise I would drive myself crazy.

    Love the Fall blog design!

  3. Lisa,
    Have you tried using windows live writer for your blog and pictures? I just discovered it a few weeks ago and it makes ALL the difference in the world. I used to use flikr to upload my pictures and it was the biggest headache. Just thought I'd mention it in case you have access to it.