Infertility Calendar

So here is how I (and I am sure the rest of the infertile world) spend their months...

Week 1: Period starts and the world crumbles. Another month has gone by without a baby. Taking us farther away from our goal of getting pregnant and feeling like the longer it takes, the greater the chance that we will never get pregnant. The week is mostly spent feeling depressed and crummy. Have to restart the fertility monitor to day 1. The worst time to find out someone is pregnant. Beware pregnant women out there who might just receive glares. Sorry...

Week 2: Time is spent drinking caffeine and taking Aleve or other medications that aren't baby friendly. This is the hardest time for me because there is nothing to do during this time except wait...at least I get to drink a lot of coffee and coke and chocolate.

Week 3: Time to start trying again! So now to concern oneself with timing and other stuff that I won't go into detail about...my mother is reading this after all. :) Time to limit the caffeine, worry about if exercise is helpful or harmful, and begin to calculate when my next period should start (or hopefully not start). Oh and the acne! It is AWFUL around this time, much worse than when I was a teenager! Hopefully work schedules don't get in the way of this time...although I do a lot of traveling with my job, so sometimes it does. The world doesn't revolve around my infertility calendar? How dare they! Boo on work.

Week 4-5: Wait, wait wait...this is a time of being hopeful. Every month there is always a hope that this is the month. Now, however, there are new concerns. Everything out of the normal could be pregnancy symptoms - headaches, cramps, food cravings, increased sense of smell, heartburn - all of those mean I am pregnant, right? Unfortunately those are also all symptoms of PMS. Grrr...the confusion of it all. Living in anticipation and fear all at the same time - every single day. Hoping and praying that I won't start my period today, and each day that I don't start feeling like maybe it really is the month. This is the time that thoughts of getting pregnant, infertility, etc. are really all consuming. My prayer here is that "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:7.

Hopefully the cycle ends there and the world doesn't come crashing down around me again.

So, for now...Go week 3!! Is that too much information?? :)

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1