Thursday, September 10, 2009

"What If?"

"I've heard it said that when you're anxious, you're being arrogant. You're acting like it's your job to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders." Very thought provoking words from one of my devotionals (Journey magazine). When we are anxious about anything we are living in a "what if" world. Most of the things in this life that we are worried about, are all of the possibilities that could happen in the future. What if we can't ever get pregnant? What if I have to go through another baby shower without having one of my own? What if it takes another year or two or three to get my own "baby bump"? The possibilities of the future can rob us of the present if we let them. God gives us enough strength to get through TODAY, not all of the "what ifs" we can conjure up in our heads. When the Israelites were wandering in the desert, God gave them just enough manna for the day. Just like He gives us the strength to get through TODAY. If one of the "what ifs" comes true, then God will give us the strength to get through it - when that time comes.

When we stress out and are anxious about things, we are a) sinning and b) trying to do God's job (which is actually sinning). Listen to these verses from the Bible...

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends ALL understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-8

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Matthew 6:34

We could find many other verses about anxiety in the Bible, but those are some of my favorites. It is so easy to stress about about the "what ifs" when you are trying to get pregnant. There are so many unknowns and constant reminders around us - pregnant women, babies, children, TV shows, media, etc. But I sure don't want those unknowns to consume my thoughts. I want to enjoy this whole process, and I can't do that if I am so anxious about what the future holds.

God's timing really is amazing. I read this devotional the day before we went to go see the urologist to get my husband's test results from the semen analysis the first time. We had to wait several hours before we actually got to see the doctor and I don't think I have ever been that anxious up until that point in my life. All of the "what ifs"... his sperm count be zero, we could be about to find out we could never have biological children...our lives were about to change. The whole time during that wait we were able to keep reminding ourselves that all we were anxious about were the "what ifs". Things that might not happen! We were able to surrender the unknown, all of those "what ifs", to our Lord. We had to pray that he would take all of the unknowns from our minds and give us peace pretty much constantly during that wait, but man...the Lord really can give you an incomprehensible peace!! Look back at Philippians 4:8 "And the peace of God which transcends ALL understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus". The peace only He can give is so far from anything we can comprehend on earth. It is a peace that we would not be able to achieve if we tried for a million years. I know that I would not have been able to make it through that day, or this whole process without that peace from the Lord! Thank you Lord for your peace that transcends my understanding!

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