I want to clarify/expound on the previous quote I posted yesterday. I had a commenter (that again I can’t reply to directly) with a different viewpoint, comment that the quote was “pompous” among other things. I would like to express my thoughts on the matter.
The intent of the quote in my eyes is that women who experience infertility will be better mothers than if they hadn’t experienced infertility. It does not mean that we will be better mothers than someone who has not experienced infertility. The quote is saying that parents who struggle with infertility do learn to really appreciate their children and the blessings in their lives. “Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.” This is SO true! The person who finishes college without having to work hard would probably not appreciate their degree as much as they would if they had had to study non stop, work at improving their grades, etc. The person who works hard to save up enough money to buy their first car is going to appreciate that car more than they would if their parents bought them that car. The person who has never had financial problems probably is not going to appreciate being able to pay their bills every month as much as they would if they had gone months where they couldn’t pay their bills. We take so much for granted, and unless you truly work for something, experience pain to attain that goal and sometimes shed blood sweat and tears - I don’t think we ever truly appreciate the end result. (Sometimes this appreciation comes from watching others experiencing pain and shedding blood and tears and realizing the blessings in our own lives.) Not saying that it can’t happen other ways, but infertility is one of the ways that can bring about that appreciation towards your children.
Any time we go through struggles in life we can become bitter or better. We’ve all heard that before, right? Well it is true. Infertility as well as other struggles…personal sickness, watching a family member suffer through cancer, losing a close friend, financial troubles, having a child in the hospital…all of these are struggles that you can either choose to learn and grow from or you can become bitter. When you choose to learn through your struggles, make the most of them, know that the Lord has allowed those things to happen for a reason…you really start to appreciate what you have been given and become a better person.
From a Biblical perspective…
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4
“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5:3-4
Even the Bible tells us that the trials and sufferings in our life can help us refine our faith and grow into a better person. AND the Bible says…
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Through our struggles and trials not only do we ourselves become refined but we are taught how to interact and comfort others! This helps in our interactions with others because we are able to empathize with their pain and suffering.
Pain, suffering and trials can help you truly learn to appreciate all of the little things in life and all that you have been blessed with. It will teach you to appreciate being able to pay your bills, waking up in the middle of the night with a crying baby, eat 3 meals a day, have a roof over your head, not be in the hospital…And when you can truly appreciate all of these little things I think you will be a “Wonderful Mother”.