I was reading a blog I follow today and she wrote a really good post on “The Cherished Child: Parenting After Infertility”. I encourage you to check it out…it goes along with the following quote I have had in my blogging drafts for awhile. Since it tied in so nicely I figured I would go ahead and post it!
“There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better in a sense. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life. Yes I will be a wonderful mother.” ~ Author Unknown
love it ;)
ReplyDeleteThis bit of the quote really bothers me:
ReplyDeleteI will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
Pain from what? Waiting in agony for a child that you will never physically be able to give birth to? Ah, I get it--emotional pain. That makes sense, sure. But, hey, wait...don't forget that the natural mother has gone through pain, too--physical pain. Does that make her a better woman yet?
This whole quote just screams "POMPOUS!" to me...:-/.
(Also, my comments concerning the quote aren't directed at you, of course--they're hypothetically directed at the unknown author, but I thought I'd type them out anyway so you could possibly see the quote from a different point of view.)
Beautiful! I'm praying for you and your journey! Know that you are not alone...
ReplyDeleteI think this is a great post and well said. You are so good at putting thoughts into words!
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